When you practice the 5 parenting skills listed here you’ll be building character and disciplining “just right.” You won’t need to feel ashamed about your words. You won’t need to apologize for being too angry either.
When you dreamt of raising a family, did you dream of disciplining kids? Most people don’t. Yet discipline is essential to good parenting. To discipline well we must avoid deflating our children’s self-esteem.
First we’ll look at a problem example. Then we’ll practice the 5 parenting skills for disciplining well.
Discipline Problem Story:
Imagine a mom discussing her 8-year-old daughter.
Mom: “I try not to hit but she never listens.”
Friend: “Do you do anything else?”
Mom: “I yell to get her attention.”
Friend: “How do you feel about hitting and screaming?”
Mom: “I’m ashamed but I don’t know what else to do. She doesn’t respect me. She’s such a difficult child.”
This mother probably copied the way she was disciplined as a child. It kept her in line when she was young but it wasn’t working with her own daughter.
How To Practice Disciplining Wisely and Building Character in Kids:
Yelling dreadful things like, “I hate you! You’re so stupid! You can’t do anything right!” is deflating to our kids’ self-esteem.
Let’s say your child forgot to do her homework, didn’t feed the dog, hurt a neighbor kid, stole money from your purse, or something else. You’ve been yelling at her since she was a little kid. It isn’t working. What can you do?
Go to the bathroom and practice good parenting. Turn on the fan to mute your words from outside ears. Look in the mirror. Practice the parenting voice, the parenting words, and the parenting look altogether. Keep your practice sessions to yourself. You are teaching yourself how to discipline wisely without regrets and build character too.
5 Wise Parenting Skills for Sounding and Looking Like the Parent:
1. Think before you speak.
2. Consider the best way to say things so you’ll end up feeling good about the way you handled your frustration.
3. Practice speaking with kind, controlled, serious, and authoritative tones.
This will help you feel good about yourself. You’ll sound like the parent too.
4. Avoid lecturing by keeping it short and simple.
Say just enough and no more.
5. Practice the kind and serious look, with the voice, and the words while imagining handling yourself well.
If your tone, your words, and your look are well balanced, then your discipline will be too. Remember, if you’re replacing poor discipline habits with these new parenting skills, it will take practice.
Conclusion for Disciplining Children Wisely:
When you use the above parenting skills, your child’s self-esteem won’t deflate like a flat tire. You won’t regret your words, anger, or actions. You’ll be the parent you dreamt of being. Your child will respect you and you’ll be building character too.
Tags: building character, discipline problem, disciplining kids, good parenting, little kid, neighbor kid, parenting skills, practice sessions, purse, regrets