If you are a parent, of course you want your children to do their best. However, what kind of parent are you? Do you encourage your children, or do you intimidate them? If you encourage your children, you stress that they should work toward a certain goal. If you intimidate your children, you stress that they should win at all costs. Especially if you tell your children that they should win, it means that the results, not the effort or intention, are what count.
Of course, this is not healthy and can cause you to have very unhappy children. In extreme cases, it can even lead to suicide. We have all heard of the honor student who does not make top honors and therefore commits suicide. In less extreme cases, such a student may become an underachiever just to avoid even trying and failing. In either case, this kind of stress causes not success, but failure or even worse.
Tags: best effort, careful balance, effective parenting, encouragement, extreme cases, fear of failure, parenting skills, traditional sense, underachiever, unhappy children